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합격자소서

한국피앤지판매(유) 2019년 상반기 신입 품질관리자합격자소서

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  • 수도권4년
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  • 학점 4.05/4.5
  • 토익 890
  • 오픽 IH
  • 자격증 4개
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전문가 자소서 총평

2

나름대로 커버레터의 구조를 알고 쓴 내용이지만 이 내용에서 지원자가 강조한 것은 추상적인 역량이 대부분이라는 것이 아쉽습니다. 실제 업무 경험을 제시한 부분을 제외하고 책임감, 적응력 등과 같은 추상적인 역량을 강조하는데 집중하고 있습니다. 지원분야와 관련하여 어떤 지식이 있고, 어떤 스킬이 있는지를 더 강조해야 합니다.

합격자소서 질문 및 내용

답변
Procter & Gamble co. Korea.
Seoul, South Korea

Dear Human Resources Manager

Greetings!
This letter serves as my application for the SCM department at your company. I’ve had respect and interest in your SCM system since P&G Korea and OOOO worked together to optimize the supply chain, which has improved productivity and efficiency in their work. It may be a good chance to work at P&G as an intern. I saw this employment announcement in your web site. 좋은점 1

I am always ready to try something new and constantly think of ways to improve myself. I've worked for 3 companies since I was 20, and I planned and tried 2 business projects targeting foreigners. Through these various experiences, I improved the ability to cooperate, devote myself to the team and lead the members, and these helped me become well- qualified as a leader. Moreover, while I was studying and working as an intern in OOO, I had many struggles and hardships. It was a challenge for me to adjust there. But that made me a more challenging and creative person.

I am confident that I can be a successful candidate at your company. Highlights of my professional credentials and experience include the following:좋은점 2


*Decreased complaint calls from 20% to 5% through adjustment of work processes in 3PL company
*Experience of running a second-hand book transaction platform site for Chinese students in Korea
*Provided leadership by representing 50 Korean students in the Philippines for an English program.
*Received the excellence award through cooperation and teamwork working as supporter staff for the OOOOOOO for 1 year with 20 team members
*Agility to react quickly to rapidly changing situations through 6 year’s various work experience.
아쉬운점 1

Most significantly, as a person who worked as a manager of one sector and as a team member for 6 years, I have already realized how important responsibility is in works. So I am sure that your company's early responsibility system will play a very big role in letting me grow professionally and in learning me adapt work quickly.아쉬운점 2

I believe that my various experiences, passion, strong sense of responsibility and leadership make me a competitive candidate for the position. I would appreciate an opportunity to discuss in further details with you how I may contribute to your company. Attached resume will help your further review.아쉬운점 3

Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you. You can contact me at your convenience via e-mail or telephone.

Sincerely,

글자수 2,5552,557Byte

좋은점 1 커버레터의 기본 요건인 채용정보를 알게 된 경위, 지원동기를 제시한 부분입니다. 특별히 문제되는 부분이 없습니다.

좋은점 2 직무와 직접적으로 연관이 있는 실무 경험인 점이 좋습니다.

아쉬운점 1 이 내용은 이 회사에서 어떻게 받아들일지 잘 모르겠습니다. 대학생활의 일반적인 경험이고 제시한 역량도 추상적인 역량들이라는 것입니다.

아쉬운점 2 지원자가 강조하고자 한 것은 책임감과 적응력인데, 이 역시 추상적인 내용입니다. 어떤 회사 어떤 부문에서 무슨 일을 했는지를 직접적으로 제시하면 더 직관적인 내용이 될 것입니다.

아쉬운점 3 전반적으로 지원자는 책임감, 리더십과 같은 추상적 역량을 강조하고 있습니다. 실무 지식, 스킬에 대한 내용에 집중하면 좋겠습니다.